My Angel Gabriel
by McGonagall's Bola
Summary: Calleigh and Horatio are so very happy with the child coming, often discussing whether it will be a little girl or boy... Unfortunately, disaster strikes... DuCaine -REWRITTEN!


The lyrics used in this piece of fan-fiction, are from _My Angel Gabriel. _I don't own anything; it belongs to Lamb.

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**WARNING:** Character Death

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"I bet that our little boy is going to have your eyes," Calleigh smiled, looking up at her husband. The two of them were in bed, still talking about the little Caine that would soon make his presence known. Mrs. Caine's nightgown lingered at the height of her breasts, so her pregnant tummy was exposed. Both her hands ran over the stretched skin, while Horatio's one hand remained motionless close to her navel, as if supporting the weight for her. There were stretch marks here and there, but Calleigh didn't particularly mind. Soon enough, she'd be holding their son in her arms and every little thing that had been uncomfortable about her pregnancy and perhaps labor and birth would be forgotten. She couldn't wait.

"I still think we're having a girl," Horatio spoke. "You're carrying most of your extra weight around the hips and bottom, and–" "Are you saying that I have gotten a fat ass, Lieutenant Caine?" Calleigh interrupted, playing insulted. "It's really your child that I'm carrying!"

The red haired father-to-be chortled. "I have been reading things on the net lately, and most of them indicate that you're going to have a girl." Calleigh didn't answer that one, but just kept on looking at him waiting for further explanation. "You had morning sickness early in the pregnancy."

"Horatio Caine, that's just a piece of crap! Alexx has had both a girl and a boy, and she said she had morning sickness with both."

"Your breast development has been quite dramatic during pregnancy, so–" "Where do you think all the milk goes?" Calleigh spoke in a tone which said she wouldn't tolerate discussing. Her husband, however, liked to tease his wife sometimes, so he simply continued with his notions...

"You dislike eating the heel of a loaf of bread, so–" "So what? I never really liked it! Horatio Caine, the things you are basing yourself on are simply old wives tales! I would have anticipated of a CSI to prefer somewhat more scientific ways to find out whether it's a boy or a girl."

"As in?"

"As in looking at an ultrasound or better, waiting until the baby's born," Calleigh answered.

Horatio leaned in gently to capture her lips, but she turned away. She clearly hadn't had enough of discussing yet... "Forgive me, sweetheart," he started, "I was actually under the impression that... I thought you were the one who wanted it to be a surprise... I still think we're having a girl. Your mother's hair is still not gray."

"That's definitely the most unscientific and ridiculous one I have heard! Seriously, what does Mama's hair color have to do with it?"

"Everything."

"Horatio Caine, if you really believe that shit, I dare you to contradict these. It's said that women who don't look particularly good during pregnancy are carrying a girl, because girls steal their mother's looks. Would you say that I look horrible?"

"I wouldn't ever say that. You're the prettiest woman in the world," he smiled, looking at her with loving eyes.

"Secondly, it's said that when the dad-to-be gains weight along with the mom-to-be, you're having a boy. And you have gained a lot lately, Lieutenant Caine," Calleigh said, pricking into his tummy with her finger as to emphasize her words. "You're getting yourself a tummy, too."

Horatio looked back at her playfully offended. "Hey! Watch out!" He exclaimed, shielding his abdomen with both of his hands. "I'm getting old, and older men get rid of their fat way more difficult... Are you going to accuse me of getting old? Besides, it's not my fault that your cooking doesn't suffer under the pregnancy..."

Mrs. Caine playfully started attacking him with a pillow in response, to which he easily caught her wrists, making it impossible to continue her attack. The two of them briefly smiled at each other, then leaned in at the same time and kissed. The two of them rolled so that Calleigh lay partially on her husband. Her nightgown had come down through the pillow fight. Horatio's hand tenderly reached up and rested on his wife's pregnant tummy. Her hand clasped over his with a smile, as she tiredly tucked her head into the crook of his neck and the smiling couple fell into a deep enchanted dream full of little blond and red haired babies, the one with green eyes, the other with bright blue.

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Horatio's worried gaze wouldn't leave his wife. Sweat trickled down her face, matting light blond hair strands to her forehead and giving her an unhealthy red complexion as she lay into the childbed, her legs into stretchers. She looked as if she was having terrible fevers. The redhead's sore hand didn't let go of hers even though she squeezed it too hard. "You are doing great, sweetheart," he whispered, smiling as the obstetrician announced that the baby's head had arrived.

Calleigh tried to smile as well, her one hand still holding onto her husband's for dear life, the other clinging to the bedside, her knuckles white from all the squeezing. She'd always told Horatio that she wouldn't start screaming no matter what. It had been more easily said than done, of course. When yet another contraction hit her, and her obstetrician encouraged to give one last push for their little one's shoulders, she instinctively gritted her teeth together, blowing up her cheeks at the same time and screamed hard. Calleigh's screams sounded smothered, and her husband looked her up and down worriedly.

The pregnant blond haired woman cried out openly at this point and slowly fell back into the pillows. Soon, a baby boy's crying filled the delivery room. Horatio quietly shed a tear hearing his son for the first time. He smiled down at his wife proudly as the obstetrician kindly asked if he would like to be the one to part mother and child by cutting the umbilical cord.

When Horatio, smiling, cut through it with the scissors Dr. Saltz had handed him, a warm feeling glowed through his body from the inside. It felt much like how his wife had felt when their child had popped out of her body. Their child was being lifted onto Calleigh's abdomen, and the new mother simply burst out in tears of joy. "You were again right," he spoke as he started crying along with her without shame. She silently reached out with her finger to carefully touch her son's cheek, afraid to hurt him. He looked so fragile, but even though he was still covered in blood and slime she thought he was absolutely the most beautiful baby she'd seen.

"I told you so," Calleigh whispered hoarsely between sobs of happiness. She was simply exhausted, yet didn't want to close her eyes, but keep on looking at that perfect little human being on her tummy. She didn't dare hold him, afraid to break him. Horatio gently supported his head and carefully lifted their son so that Calleigh could hold him as well. She looked up at her husband lovingly, eyes sparkling.

"Thank you," he whispered, leaning in to plant his lips on her forehead, then his son's. The new parents touched foreheads and smiled at the little wonder between them.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

_I can fly  
But I want his wings_  
_I can shine even in the darkness_  
_But I crave the light that he brings_  
_Revel in the songs that he sings_  
_My angel Gabriel_

Calleigh Caine's cheeks were begrimed from crying. She hadn't quite decently slept in days, and wasn't really planning to either. She'd barely allowed her husband to get her something to eat and drink out of the cafeteria downstairs every now and then, even though nothing he got would taste like before. Nothing would be the same again until little Gabriel opened his bright blue eyes again. Calleigh had been right. He'd gotten his father's eyes, but it had been... a little while...

Her intent gaze wouldn't leave her son's for even an instant, even afraid to blink and lose him in that four thousands of a second that her eyes were closed. Horatio carefully watched his wife from the doorway, his own ocean blue eyes dried out from crying. He wouldn't do it in front of her, though. He'd do it when she'd fallen asleep in the bed right next to their little boy's, in the short moments that her mind won over matter and forced her eyelids to close. It simply broke his heart to see what was laid out for him. His wife's warm hand covered his son's so much smaller one. She'd been holding it since their son had been brought in with breathing trouble last Monday. Tubes were still running in and out of his nose and throat. It didn't feel good to watch his own son like that, but Gabriel's doctors were pretty positive about it, thus he tried believing it as well.

_I can love_  
_But I need his heart_  
_I am strong even on my own_  
_But from him I never want to part_  
_He's been there since the very start_  
_My angel Gabriel_  
_My angel Gabriel_

"No," Calleigh whispered, looking at her red haired husband for support, then right back at Dr. Rasmussen, shaking her head brusquely in despair. "No!" She cried, turning towards Horatio and concealing herself into his chest. She started shivering all over, her sadness finding its way out in tears and more tears. Horatio quietly tucked her head under his chin, rubbing her lower back trying hopelessly to calm her down. His own tears trickled down his cheeks at the loss of his oldest son. He'd barely been three years old.

Thank goodness godmother Natalia had been taking care of the youngest one ever since Gabriel had ended up in the hospital. Neither of the young parents had really been capable of doing it, worry for their oldest son wearing them out both emotionally and physically. And now there'd be no more Gabriel Caine.

_Bless the day he came to be_  
_Angel's wings carried him to me_  
_Heavenly_

_I can fly_  
_But I want his wings_  
_I can shine even in the darkness_  
_But I crave the light that he brings_  
_Revel in the songs that he sings_  
_My angel Gabriel_  
_My angel Gabriel_  
_My angel Gabriel_

"Shh," Calleigh soothed, gently handing their youngest son to his father, who was sitting right beside her. Horatio briefly gave her the same concerned gaze he'd given when she'd announced that she'd like to speak at the funeral. "I can do this," she whispered, looking into his bright blue eyes. "You should give me enough credit," she added, before getting up from her seat in the front row and stepping towards the microphone standing in front of everyone present, carrying a piece of paper with written text with her. She quietly placed it on the standard, her hands lingering with it as she swallowed, watching Natalia return to her seat in the second row. When she'd sat down again next to Ryan, Calleigh inhaled, and started speaking.

"Dear Gabriel. About nine months I carried you with me. Daddy and I were so proud when you came along. You were so awfully welcome. Bruce soon followed after you, and we were so happy, with our two little bears." She paused. Calleigh's voice sounded peaceful, as if she'd come to terms with what laid out in front of her. She didn't show any emotion, and it felt rather odd, not being able to cry anymore. Even though sobs sounded out of every single corner of the little church, her eyes and cheeks remained dry. She sadly noticed Horatio's tears and found his bright eyes before continuing. "Little Gabriel, you fought so amazingly hard to survive, but you were just not strong enough for the fight you had to endure. We will never forget you or your will to live and we're sorry that we could not keep you with us longer than these three past wonderful years. What is little Bruce going to do without you, without his big brother? And what are daddy and I going to do without our big boy? We'll never forget you, and you'll always be our first little bear."

Calleigh swallowed quietly, pausing again. "Mommy?" came their son's voice, interrupting the silence that had fallen over everyone. The blonde still silently directed her gaze towards the first row, where Horatio tried what he could to keep little Bruce from screaming. Wrinkles on his forehead easily indicated that he didn't want to be there, nor really understood why he should. A sad smile came to the young mother's lips, before she spoke these last words, that would always stay with anyone that had attended the child's funeral. "Daddy and I were proud to be your parents, my little Gabriel-warrior."

Her green eyes remained dry even when Horatio and her own father, Gabriel and Bruce's godfather, carefully lifted and carried the little coffin out of the church. Bruce was in her arms as she followed silently. "I love you," she whispered. "My Angel Gabriel."


End file.
